Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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