I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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