8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize