We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
not ubering you a puppy
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