The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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