ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize