I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize