No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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