Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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