How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize