there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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