I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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