i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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