Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize