Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize