Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize