a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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