I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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