Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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