K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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