I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
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Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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