I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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