I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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