I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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