nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize