omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize