Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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