No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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