He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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