Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Houston, we have a squirter
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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