Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize