There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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