that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
kristin has been a bad kristin
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
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I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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