i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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