i need an iv and a liver transplant
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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