We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize