Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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