hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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