You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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