is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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