i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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