I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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