i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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