First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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