my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Text me some of your sweat
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