Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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