Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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