my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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