saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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