That's intense
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
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Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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